Five sets of skills

Listening Skills

These methods enable a person to really understand what another person is saying. They include new ways of responding so that the other person feels his or her problems and feelings have been understood. When these methods are used appropriately, the other person often solves his problems without becoming dependent on you.

Assertion skills

These verbal and nonverbal behaviors enable you to maintain respect, satisfy your needs, and defend your rights without dominating, manipulating, abusing, or controlling others.

Conflict-resolution skills

These abilities enable you to deal with the emotional turbulence that typically accompanies conflicts that are likely to foster closer relationships when the strife is over.

Collaborative problem solving skills

These constitute a way of resolving conflicting needs that satisfies all parties. It is a way of solving problems so they stay solved.

Skill selection

These guidelines enable you to decide what communication skills to use in a situation in which you find yourself.

Listening Skills

It's More Than Merely Hearing

Attending Skills 

  • A Posture of Involvement
  • Appropriate Body Motion
  • Eye Contact
  • Non-distracting Environment

Following Skills

  • Door Openers
  • Minimal Encourages
  • Infrequent Questions
  • Attentive Silence

Reflecting Skills

  • Paraphrasing
  • Reflecting Feelings
  • Reflecting Meanings(Tying Feelings to Content)
  • Summative Reflections


Attending Skills

Attending is giving your physical attention to another person. Some refer to it as listening with the whole body. Attending is non verbal communication that indicates that you a paying careful attention to the person who is talking. Attending skills include a posture of involvement, appropriate body motion, eye contact and a non distracting environment.

Effective attending works wonders in human relations. It shows the other that you are interested in him or her and in what they have to say. It facilitates the expression of the most important matters on his mind and in his heart. Non attending on the other hand, tends to thwart the speaker's expression.

Attending is often on of the most effective behaviors we can offer when listening to someone.  


Reading body LANGUAGE

We all, in one way or another, send our little messages out to the world. Rarely do we send our messages consciously. We ac out our state of being with nonverbal body language. We lift one eyebrow for disbelief. We rub our noses for puzzlement. We clasp our arms to isolate ourselves or to protect ourselves. We shrug our shoulders for indifference, wink one eye for intimacy, tap our fingers for impatience, slap our foreheads for forgetfulness. The gestures are numerous, and while some are deliberate, there are some such as rubbing our noses for puzzlement or clasping our arms to protect ourselves, that are mostly unconscious.

                                                                                               -Julius Fast

Importance of Body Language

A person cannot not communicate. Though one may decide to stop talking, it is impossible for one to stop behaving. The behavior of a person, one's facial expressions, posture, gestures, and other actions provide an uninterrupted stream of information and a constant source of clues to the feelings one is experiencing. The reading of body language, therefore is one of the most significant skills of good listening and communication.